It’s been a crappy few days. I don’t know why. But it has been. My younger daughter had a throw up episode that scared me – she threw up 5-6 times in a span of 30-45 minutes. And it wasn’t spit-up; it was violent vomiting. She hasn’t been sleeping well, which has left me pretty tired. I yelled at my husband in front of my kids. My older daughter scraped herself up pretty bad on my watch. I failed with dinner this week. My floors need to be mopped. I lost my temper with my bigger baby. My husband is frustrated with my housekeeping. I have no friends because I don’t reach out to people. And to top it off, I’ve been eating pretty crummy food and eating a lot of it. So I’m also frumpy and doughy. lt’s a terrible feeling to think you’re bad at all the things you’re responsible for and the stuff you’re responsible for actually matters. I’m tired and I’m frustrated and I’m ashamed of myself and I just feel awful.
But there’s always a silver lining. My big baby told me she loved me on her own. And kept saying it, every time I told her I loved her. And when I said “I love your hair!” she replied with “I love YOU!” and when I told her “I love your face!” she just said “I love YOU!” And I believed her. And my little dumpling sat up from lying down all on her own. And I sat her in a swing at the park for the first time. Her big sister was so proud! That makes me feel better. And my husband has a short week this week. And his ideas and abilities are starting to be recognized by his peers. AND we bought him some new shirts – he didn’t make me return them or anything! And Miss K. has not cried a single time I dropped her off to school.
At times like these, I always remind myself that I can’t change what’s done. All I can do is impact what will happen next. So I’m gonna make myself make a list of things to do and I’m going to start crossing them off. Maybe I’ll even add a to-do that involves making myself look better. And some yoga. All of those should help, right? What do you do to climb out of your crappy days?