Becoming a parent for the second time has been so incredibly different than the first time. I’m more relaxed, more confident, less emotional. I remember with Miss K, I literally cried at least once a day, everyday, for probably over two weeks – just so incredibly overwhelmed by the wonderfulness of our baby and our new lives together. This time I find myself still in awe of my new baby – the love I feel for her is almost stifling and when she smiles, my heart stops. Ok fine. Now I’m crying so I can’t claim that I didn’t cry this time around…BUT you get the point. Things are different. I am able to enjoy Super S in a different way than with Miss K. With K, I was constantly worried that i was doing something wrong or that something would go wrong with her health. I can’t help but also check to see if Super S is breathing but it’s not with the same fear – it’s more of a reassurance.
I think the hardest part about motherhood this time around is that I am so incredibly aware of how fast time is passing. She’s already eleven weeks old. She’s already grown out of newborn diapers and clothes. She’s getting big so fast. And though I’m enjoying (almost) every minute of being a mom to a newborn, it breaks my heart that it’s going by so quickly. I think I get one more week where I can call her a newborn and then she’s just an infant. I can’t make time stop but I really wish I could sometimes.
The nice part is that I had forgotten a lot of what it’s like to have a newborn but have been floored by how amazing it is. Like the way they curl when you pick them up. Or how frantically they try to eat you. Or how their head smells when you hold them near. Or how often they poop in the first weeks. Or incredibly sweet they look all swaddled up. Or how they confused and try to turn their heads in the wrong direction when you feed them because they feel your hand on their head. Or how their little faces break your heart when they cry with that full on pout, complete with pouty lips. Or how incredibly, wonderfully unaware they are but yet they’re aware of your existence. Or how their sheer innocence can give you faith in humankind. Or how they validate your existence. Sigh. So nice.
This next paragraph is more for me to help me remember what my baby was like at this age because I have a feeling in the future I will be desperately trying to remember details…So at 11 weeks, Super S laughs, follows our fingers when we move them, smiles, and looks for my voice when she hears it. She weighs about 11 pounds, 5 ounces. She seems tall to us – She’s somewhere around 23 inches. Long and lean with a small head. I’m going to jinx myself by saying this outloud but Super S sleeps 8+ hours a night. She eats about every two hours, which translates to about 8-9 feedings a day (I think that’s why she’s able to sleep long stretches at night). She is wearing 0-3 month and 3 month clothing, depending on the brand and outfit. We bathe her 2-3 times a week and massage her 4-5 days a week. I try to read to her daily but don’t always succeed. We try to bottle feed her a couple days a week to make sure she doesn’t reject it in case we have an emergency and she easily sucks down 4 oz. per feeding. She sleeps in her crib in her room at night but rarely during the day – usually she’s in her carrier, on my chest, or in the swing. She’s breastfed and she’s beautiful. Her skin seems lighter than when she was first born and she’s grown out of most of her cradle cap and peeling skin. When I kiss her face, she opens her mouth like she’s trying to kiss me too. She coos and talks to us a lot and holds wonderful eye contact. She recognizes her dad and smiles when she sees him. When I undo the velcro on her swaddle in the morning, she gives this awesome stretch with both hands above her head. Usually it’s then that she realizes she’s hungry and lets out a loud yell. Did I mention she’s beautiful?