2011 and my new life

2011 was so drastically different than any other year I’ve ever lived.  The biggest change is our daughter, of course.  But I realized that I’ve learned so much in this year of staying home with her.  Hell, here are 10 quick things that I learned about just myself:

  1. I didn’t lose my mind staying home.  I kinda like it. I miss working in an office but staying home with my baby has been dandy.
  2. I can cook.  I tried so many new things this year and I’m happy that I’ve been cooking more at home.  It’s fun and feels good to know we nourished ourselves.  Not everything I make is a winner but I’m glad I try sometimes.
  3. I am HORRIBLE at home maintenance.  I wish I were one of those people who just always kept things neat and tidy but I’m not.  A mess builds up, I clean it.  Meanwhile, other messes are starting.  I hate that I’m like this but I’ve accepted that I tend to make mess.  I have not accepted that my life will be full of clutter so I’m gonna work on it.
  4. My ego has a hard time living with the fact that I’m bringing home no bacon.  My husband is the sole bread-winner these days.  I’m the bread eater.  I don’t think we’ve really changed our lifestyles much because of this but it is still a hard pill for me to swallow that I’m not providing financial independence for us.  It bugs me that it’s all on my husband’s head.
  5. I can multi-task like a mofo!  It’s crazy the kind of stuff I’ve done while holding or feeding Karina.  I’m not saying it’s always been the best choice but I can do it…
  6. I like writing.  This blog is fun for me.  I didn’t think I’d have enough to write about but the thoughts keep coming, random and pointless as they are sometimes.
  7. I am horribly out of shape with bad eating habits that I’m trying to fix and I no longer take care of myself.  I realized the other day that I never really look in the mirror.  At first I told myself it’s because I don’t care about my appearance.  But it’s not.  It’s because I’m frightened by what I see.  My looks have aged a lot this year and so has my body.  The lack of exercise and on and off sleep schedules have really done a number on me.  I don’t know what my body is now, so I don’t know how to clothe it.  And part of the reason I don’t know what it is is because I am not ready to accept it for what it is right now.  I know it’ll never go back to way it was pre-baby but I know I can do better than what I am today.
  8. I have the foundations to be a good mom.  There are PLENTY of areas I need to learn and improve but I’m proud of my husband and myself for what we did this year.
  9. In general, I make good choices in life.  This year, more than any other, I am proud of  the life we’ve built.  I picked a good spouse.  We made financial choices that put us in a position to allow me to stay home with our baby.  We live in a safe place and drive our baby in safe cars.  I’m so happy to say I have virtually no regrets so far in life and those that I have are really no big deal.
  10. I AM able to get joy out of the little things in life.  I dunno.  The last few years had been so so hectic with my work and travel and other things. I was scared that I had lost the ability to enjoy little things but I’ve found that some of my most memorable days this year weren’t the crazy trips or events, they were the little joys…my husband driving us to Target in our electric car when Karina was 4 days old.  It was a sunny day and we were happy.  Karina “helping” me with laundry and laughing her head off while playing in the clothes.  My nieces and nephews all running over to say hi to my baby.  The look on all four of her grandparents’ faces when she chooses them to hug.

Given I had zero formal training this year, I’d say I learned a hell of a lot.

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